Words she couldn't say
by Liesmeli
Summary: It happened, she fell for him. But she won't tell him, or will she? A JamesxLily fic! Please read!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, sadly**

**Anyway, the song's from the movie Country Strong and all dresses can be found on my profile (you should check them out because I really suck at describing dresses, or shoes for that matter) as are Lily's shoes. **

**Enjoy**

* * *

><p>Lily groaned, she hadn't planned for this to happen, and yet here she was, realizing she was in love with the one she refused all those years. How was she going to survive this year, especially since he was Head Boy and they would have to share a common room.<p>

She was currently on her way to Hogwarts for her final year and coming back from the Prefect meeting she realized why she felt sad at the thought of James Potter with another girl. He had told her, less than an hour ago, that he wouldn't be asking her out that year, that he had a girlfriend. He had asked her to be friends, though. Seeing the look on Lily's face Julie knew Lily had realized she was in love with 'the arrogant toe-rag'.

'Finally figured it out, have you?' Julie asked.

'You knew?'

'Lils, everyone but you and James knows!' Sensing this was not the best way to be helping her best friend, Julie changed tactics. 'When are you going to tell him?'

'I won't, he's moved on, he's got a girlfriend.' Lily answered sadly, tears forming in her eyes.

'Jules, I don't think I can handle this.'

'Yes, you can! You just need some girl-time! Tonight we're going to have a sleepover in the Room of Requirement, I'll invite some of the other girls and everything will be all right.'

'I guess, who will you invite? Alyssa and Claire?' Lily asked.

'Yeah, we'll meet you at eight.' Julie said.

* * *

><p>By the time they arrived at Hogwarts Lily felt much better. They searched for a good spot along the table and waited for the first years to be sorted. After the sorting there was Dumbledore's usual speech.<p>

'Welcome to all first years and welcome to all other students. Another summer has passed, another school year has started. I'd like to give a special welcome to our Head Boy and Girl for this year Mister Potter and Miss Evans, if you have any problems, requests or something like that I'm sure they will do everything they can to help you. Now, last year I heard some sixth years talking about the fact that they would like to have a talent show, but would probably never have one. To rectify that on the first of October, we will be having a talent show, anyone, from fifth year or up, who wishes to participate has 'till next Friday to sign up. To sing up you just write your name on a sheet of paper on the notice board in your common room. That's all, enjoy your year and tuck in!'

Excitement immediately filled the Great Hall as every student started talking about the talent show.

'Are you going to sign up?' Lily asked Julie when they had finished eating.

'No, I'd rather watch. Now, I'll go and ask Alyssa and Claire if they want to join us for the sleepover and you are going to get your PJ's and your bikini and you'll meet us at the Room of Requirement.'

'All right, it might take me some time, since I've got to get settled in my new commons, I be there in about half an hour I think, now shoo, McGonagall's on her way here with Ja-Potter.' Lily quickly caught her slip up and only just noticed Julie's grin, but was too late to call her on it since she was already out the door.

'Miss Evans, follow me please, I'll show you and Mister Potter the way to your common room.'

'Yes, professor.' Lily said politely, trying hard to keep up with James's long strides as McGonagall quickly strode off.

'Now,' McGonagall had stopped in front of a portrait of two young girls laughing and playing in the snow, 'you'll have to choose a password and give it to the girls, I'll pass it on to professor Dumbledore.'

'How about _Vesta_, she was the Roman goddess of home?' James suggested.

'Yeah, sounds good.' Lily said wondering how he knew that.

'All right, I'll inform professor Dumbledore of your password, goodnight.' Professor McGonagall left, leaving Lily and James on their own to explore the common room. The portrait had opened when they agreed on their password. James indicated for Lily to enter first. She climbed through the hole in the wall and stared in wonder at the cozy common room and started for one of the doors in the back. She found a bathroom and two bedrooms.

'Which one do you want?' James asked suddenly. Lily turned around quickly, not having heard James enter the common room and following her.

'Are you okay?' James asked, his voice laced with concern.

'Yeah, I'm fine, you just scared me. As for the rooms, well, I quite like that one.' Lily said while indicating to her right. She liked the room with midnight blue walls with large ochre flowers on it and a beautiful bed with deep red sheets and a golden pillow.

'Great, I prefer the other room myself.' James said with a smile.

'I'm going to get settled.' Lily said, hiding her blush at James's smile.

Lily walked into her room as James walked into his. She quickly put away all her stuff and then put on her bikini. She packed her PJ's and some chocolate. Just as she left her room to go to the Room of Requirement she ran into James, who was about to knock on her door. James grabbed Lily's waist to prevent them both from falling and steadied them.

'Well,' James laughed as they were no longer in danger of falling, 'where are you going?' He asked eyeing Lily's bag.

'Sleepover with the girls.' Lily explained, blushing at James's hands at her waist.

'Oh,' James's face fell, 'I was hoping you would spend the evening with me and my friends, you could invite Julie.' Lily blushed once more and silently cursed James for making her act like this.

'Sorry, I can't, another time?'

'Yeah, sure, 'night.' James said leaving for his room.

'Goodnight, James.' Lily answered, but he no longer heard her.

* * *

><p>'Lils!'<p>

'Lily!' Lily was enveloped in hugs as she reached the Room of Requirement.

'Alyssa, Claire!' Lily was happy to see her friends again as she had not seen them on the train. Both Alyssa and Claire had sat with their boyfriend.

'All right, we all missed each other, can we now go inside, the door appeared like an age ago.' Julie stated laughing at her friends antics. They all entered the room amazed at what they saw.

'The Room really outdid itself this time. This is amazing.' Alyssa said.

'Yeah, I mean, an amazing pool, gorgeous beds, lots of pillows and all this girly stuff!' Claire agreed.

'Hey, why don't we play that muggle game you taught us, Lils?' Alyssa suggested when they had settled down on some of the pillows.

'Truth or Dare?' Julie asked.

'Yeah, I think that's what it's called.' Alyssa said. 'Come on, Lils, it'll be fun.' She added when she saw Lily's expression.

'All right, we can play, if I can go first!' Lily gave in.

'Sure, go ahead.' Claire said.

'Jules, truth or dare?'

'I think I'll stick with truth.' Julie said.

'Who do you fancy?' Lily asked smirking. She wasn't sure whether Julie fancied anyone, but she had a suspicion. Julie blushed and mumbled something none of the other girls understood.

'Honey, we don't speak mumble, a little louder please?' Claire asked excited since she loved matchmaking.

'I said, I like…' she paused.

'Yes?' Alyssa asked curiously.

'I like Remus.' Julie said blushing like mad.

'Really?' Lily asked, trying to think of ways to get Julie and Remus alone. Julie nodded and quickly continued with the game.

'Claire, truth or dare.'

'Like you have to ask, dare of course.'

'Okay, I dare you to throw a glass of water in Dave's face tomorrow at breakfast and you can't tell him it was a dare unless, he's going to break up with you for it, which I highly doubt.' Julie said.

'Consider it done. Now, Lissy, truth or dare?' Alyssa had to think for a moment before she decided on a dare as well. The game continued without any big surprises, like that of Julie fancying Remus or Lily fancying James , for quite a while. That is until it was Julie's turn to ask.

'Lils, truth or dare?'

'Dare.'

'All right, I dare you to sing in the talent show about your feelings for a certain,' Julie threw a glance at Alyssa and Claire before continuing, 'James Potter.'

'What? No way, I'm not going to ruin my friendship for some relationship that will never happen!'

'Why not, I'm sure he feels the same way!' Alyssa exclaimed.

'I rejected him nearly every day for six years! I'm lucky that he even wants to be my friend.'

'Look, we'll help, I'll play the piano, Lissy can play the guitar and Jules can make a background film.' Claire said trying to console the now crying Lily.

'Yeah, you don't have to do this by yourself, it's just, we want you to be happy and we know he still loves you.' Alyssa said comfortingly.

'How do you know?' Lily asked.

'Just because you don't see it doesn't mean we don't. It's in his eyes, Lily. His eyes practically shine whenever he sees you.' Julie told her, tears in her eyes. 'I just wanted to help, I didn't mean for you to be so upset.'

'It's okay,' Lily got up to hug her best friend, vowing to get her and Remus together.

* * *

><p>For three weeks Lily , Alyssa and Claire had been practicing the song Lily would sing and Julie had made a beautiful film to go along with it. They had one more day to practice but they didn't need to. Instead they were sitting in Lily's room just talking and laughing and trying to find a nice dress for the show.<p>

'What about this one?' Claire asked taking a bright blue party dress out of the wardrobe.

'Don't you think it's a bit too fancy?' Julie asked. 'I mean, it's not like Lily's going to a ball.'

'All right, not that one.' Claire said, throwing the dress on to the growing pile of clothes while Alyssa dove into Lily's wardrobe.

'I got it, this is what you should wear!' Alyssa yelled. She was right though. She had pulled a beautiful brown dress out of Lily's closet. Both Claire and Julie oohed when they saw the dress.

'Why do you never wear that dress, Lils, it's absolutely gorgeous?' Claire asked eyeing the dress with a look of longing.

'I don't know, there was never and opportunity, I guess.' Lily said.

'Well, now there is. Now, shoes!' Alyssa exclaimed. When she said that Claire gasped. The three other girls turned to ask if everything was okay, only to see a smiling Claire.

'I'm so going to regret this, but why are you smiling like that?' Julie asked Claire.

'I've got the perfect shoes to match that outfit!' She squealed.

'Great, now we don't have to worry about that.' Alyssa said.

'Well, that's all I can help with.' Julie said looking at the door longingly.

'Go, find Remus and snog him senseless!' Lily said, knowing what Julie's look had meant.

'Will do,' Julie yelled as she left the room. Julie and Remus had gotten together two weeks ago and were practically inseparable ever since. They were all lovey, though not annoyingly so. Lily was happy for her friend and she knew they would last.

'I think it's time for us to go as well' Claire said as she and Alyssa got up from Lily's bed, waking Lily from her thoughts.

'Now, get some sleep and don't worry, Claire and I have got our outfits covered and we'll help you getting ready tomorrow. Goodnight Lils.' She hugged Lily.

'Thanks girls, really, I couldn't have done this without you or Julie for that matter, but I'll thank her later. Goodnight.' She hugged Claire as well and her reminded her to bring the shoes.

* * *

><p>It was the evening of the talent show and the Great Hall was buzzing with excitement. Some students were talking and wondering who had signed up, and what they would do. Some were nervous and practicing in their minds. In the middle of all this was Lily with her friends.<p>

'I can't do this.' Lily kept repeating under her breath. Tears making their way to her eyes.

'Yes you can, Lils! You know your song by heart, you practiced all you could and you're going to be brilliant!' Alyssa said, trying to convince Lily.

'Come on, we'll start getting ready and then you'll be fine.' Julie said getting up and pulling Lily up with her.

The girls were not the first to leave the Great Hall, in all excitement everyone had eaten very fast.

Back in Lily's room the girls were getting ready for the show. Alyssa was putting on a lovely cream summer dress while Julie was charming Lily's hair to fall in neat waves. Claire was putting on some make-up and ordered Alyssa to do the same. When she had finished with her own make-up Claire went to do Lily's using only a subtle bronze eye shadow, some brown mascara and some light lip gloss. Lastly both Lily and Claire got into their dresses. Claire had chosen to wear a neat brown party dress.

'It's time.' Julie said.

'Yeah, I guess we'll see you after the show.' Lily said.

'Sure, now, break a leg.' She said before going into the transformed Great Hall looking for Remus.

'Let's go.' Claire said. Lily and Alyssa nodded and followed Claire to the old classroom that was being used as green room. One by one all students performing left the green room until only Lily, Alyssa and Claire remained. They were the last to perform. At last they saw McGonagall's patronus appearing to tell it was their turn. The three girls left the green room and took their places on the stage set up in the Great Hall. They could hear professor Dumbledore announcing them and then they saw the curtain being lifted.

'You asked so many times, I said no, you told me, and I didn't say it back, it's about time I did' Lily said to the audience as some sort of lead in of her song. She took a deep breath and nodded to Claire to start playing.

_In a book, in a box, in the closet_

_In a line, in a song I once heard_

_In a moment on a front porch late one June_

_In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon_

_There it was at the tips of my fingers_

_There it was on the tip of my tongue_

_There you were and I had never been that far_

_There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms_

_And I let it all slip away_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_There's a rain that will never stop falling'_

_There's a wall that I tried to take down_

_What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips_

_So I held back and now we've come to this_

_And it's too late now_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_I should have found the way to tell you how I felt_

_Now the one I'm telling is myself_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say _

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say  
><em>

During her song, she had searched for his eyes. What she had seen in them was not what she expected. She saw caring, happiness and love. But how was that possible?

When the song had ended the entire hall broke into a thundering applause. She took a bow along with Alyssa and Claire and left the stage. Now they had to wait for the winner to be called by Dumbledore. Not that she really cared, she just wanted to run away and hide.

'The winner, or perhaps I should say winners are Lily Evans, Alyssa Daniels and Claire Batens.' Dumbledore announced to the audience and asked for the three girls to come onto the stage. They each received 50 points and an additional trip to Hogsmeade to which they were allowed to take one person each.

'Sir, I don't think it's fair that Julie isn't up here with us, I mean, she made that beautiful film that was playing in the background.' Lily said to Dumbledore hoping she wasn't being too bold by doing so.

'Ah, but of course, Miss Henson, why don't you join us.' Julie was blushing furiously when she walked onto the stage under a loud applause.

'Now, since tomorrow is a Saturday, why not go to Hogsmeade then, I will see you four in my office when you wish to go. And now I do believe it's time to return to your common rooms.' That last bit was directed to the entire hall.

* * *

><p>Lily managed to stay calm in front of her friends but as soon as they had parted, she rushed to her own room. There was one factor she did not take into account, though. That factor was James Potter. When she reached the portrait of her common room Lily already had tears in her eyes. She gave the password and dashed inside. In her haste she hadn't seen James standing in front of her door and once more crashed into him. He hadn't seen her coming and they went toppling to the ground.<p>

'Lily! Are you all right?' James asked surprised once he got up. Lily, however, had opted to stay on the floor. By now she was crying. The person she ran into was the one person she was trying to avoid.

'Lily, please, don't cry. It's all right, everything will be all right.' James felt helpless as he was trying to soothe Lily.

'It's not all right. You probably hate me now.' Lily managed to say through her tears.

'I don't hate you, why would you think that? Hey, look at me. I could never hate you.'

'But, I just ruined your relationship and our friendship with one stupid move.'

'No, you didn't. Well, you didn't ruin our friendship unless you don't want to be friends anymore and about that relationship…' Lily looked up to find James smiling.

'What about it?' Lily asked, having calmed down.

'There is none.' James told her. 'Emily and I broke up two weeks ago. I told her I couldn't do it any longer. I told her I liked her, but no more than a friend. She agreed with me and told me she felt the same way.'

'B-But I thought you loved her, I mean, I overheard you and Sirius talking at breakfast this morning and you clearly said _I love her_.' Lily asked confused. At that James started laughing.

'I wasn't talking about Emily.'

'Who were you talking about.'

'You. I love you.' James told her earnestly. Lily could not believe it. James Potter actually loved her, after all her rejections and insults he still cared. She surprised both of them when she leaned up and kissed him. It was a sweet, short kiss and Lily soon pulled back to look into James's smiling face.

'No about these words you cou…' James started to ask as Lily cut him off by saying just those words.

'I love you, James, with all my heart.' James beamed as she said this, he was one hundred percent sure he was the happiest man in the world. Lily was smiling as well. She saw now that all her fears of him hating her had been silly. Then she reminded she had a question to ask.

'Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?' James started laughing and that.

'That's my line! And yes, I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you.'


End file.
